Snacks. Period.

I’d like to extend a big FUCK YOU to the women’s interest magazines and websites that try and advise me of what to eat and do when I have my period.

Oh my god, a handful of almonds? That’s groundbreaking stuff. Should I also go for a refreshing morning run and make a smoothie with skim milk and something something kale/berries/antioxidants? Should I avoid caffeine and alcohol and salt because things that make me happy might also make me (gasp) a little bit bloated and possibly even fat? Fat, the worst thing ever, the antithesis of a handful of almonds?

I don’t want to run. I don’t want to eat a handful of nuts and seeds like a goddamn chipmunk. I’d love to see an honest advice blurb that’s like: here’s what’s good on Netflix right now, here’s a recipe for some marshmallow brownie pretzel shit I just made up, and here’s the world’s permission to sit on the couch and fart in a Snuggie all day.

Fuck a string cheese and cherry tomato snack. Fuck ALLATHAT.

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One thought on “Snacks. Period.

  1. Pingback: Working the System: Tales of a Welfare Queen | That's Not What I Mean

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